Well, my fellow travelers, I have been negligent...again. I've been too busy with work. I've been distracted by personal things. I have not been heeding the call to sit at my Mother's feet.
Normally, I choose not to reflect on the workings of the church in this space. Partly because this is my personal space, and partly because I don't know that anyone thinks about the workings of the church in the same ways (or as much) as I do. But for the last couple of months, I've been finding myself saying things like "the system is broken" meaning the church. Not because of any great scandals or theological issues (although there are those things happening...UMCs, Lambeth, sex scandals again), but because at it's core, I think the church often looses sight of what it's called to be...a community grounded in the love of Christ, called to care for one another (especially the "other"), and to promote the health, dignity and respect of every human being. When we lose sight of that call, then we are simply another institution. And there are times that I feel like we have lost sight of who and what God is calling us to be...the Beloved Community.
So I've been thinking a lot of what it means to be the Beloved Community and how we sometimes forget that call when we experience the inevitable wrestling matches over power and authority, when we experience conflict, and how Mary models a different way of managing our humanness, so that we can better reflect the Divine spark that resides in all of us.
At the Wedding of Cana, Mary and Jesus appear to have a bit of conflict. She reports to him that there is no wine, and he (basically) responds that it's not his problem. Instead of getting bent out of shape or pouting, she persists. She goes to the wine stewards and tells them to do whatever Jesus tells them to do. Now, we all know how the story goes...water into wine, happy wedding feast, Jesus' first natural miracle, boom. But this isn't the first time they have a bit of conflict according to the Gospels, and I'm willing to bet, as parent and child, there were other non-recorded incidents. What about when she panics when he's missing at about age 12 and he responds (again, paraphrasing) "you should know where I'm at" because he's been hanging out in the Temple teaching? Or when she's worried about him and it's reported to Jesus that his mother and brothers were outside the house worrying, and he responds that those surrounding him are his family? We don't see a Mary who pounds her fists on the table, walks out and slams the door behind her (although, she'd be totally within her right to do so). We don't encounter a Mary who screams (although I imagine she might have screamed a bit). Instead, we have a woman who stands firm. She doesn't walk away, but rather follows Jesus all the way to the cross.
I call this firmness, this steadfastness, "standing in the fire" with people. Having just a little bit of awareness of non-violent communication strategies and my own experiences of facing conflict and hard conversations, "standing in the fire" for me means staying engaged in those moments of tension, when it's easier to walk away. Mary stood in the fire with Jesus all throughout his ministry. And we are called, I believe, to stand in the fire with each other. Think about how many times you've found yourself in conflict with another, whether that's in the church, in your circle of friends, at work, with your spouse/partner or children. Sometimes our impatience with the other to see things from our perspective (because of course we're right), our inability to hear their truth/needs/wants/desires (because they aren't as important as our own) , and our fear of being vulnerable (and therefore lashing out at the other) prevents us from being the Beloved Community. But when we stand in the fire and listen deeply...when we put aside our own agenda so that we can hear the needs of the other...when we allow their pain to be witnessed instead of allowing it to affect our delicate egos...transformation happens. Standing in the fire isn't about being a pushover or a doormat, rather it's about staying in it through the end to emerge as something new.
When Jesus said "who are my mother and brothers" Mary could have said "that's it. He's on his own" and that would have been ok. But how much better that instead, she stayed in the fire with him during his ministry. At the foot of the cross, she became the Mother to us all as a gift from Jesus in his most vulnerable moment. She stayed in the fire with him. She didn't leave him when everyone else did. Can we stand in the fire with each other? Can we be vulnerable enough to set aside our agendas and egos and listen deeply to the needs and wants of those we love, and then find a way forward as Beloved? Can we stay in it until the very end?
I honestly believe this might be the only way to heal the system. Standing in the fire might be the way to heal the brokenness of the church. But it means letting go of the ways "we've always done it" so that something new can emerge. And that, my fellow travelers, is hard work. Will you stand in the fire with me?
Normally, I choose not to reflect on the workings of the church in this space. Partly because this is my personal space, and partly because I don't know that anyone thinks about the workings of the church in the same ways (or as much) as I do. But for the last couple of months, I've been finding myself saying things like "the system is broken" meaning the church. Not because of any great scandals or theological issues (although there are those things happening...UMCs, Lambeth, sex scandals again), but because at it's core, I think the church often looses sight of what it's called to be...a community grounded in the love of Christ, called to care for one another (especially the "other"), and to promote the health, dignity and respect of every human being. When we lose sight of that call, then we are simply another institution. And there are times that I feel like we have lost sight of who and what God is calling us to be...the Beloved Community.
So I've been thinking a lot of what it means to be the Beloved Community and how we sometimes forget that call when we experience the inevitable wrestling matches over power and authority, when we experience conflict, and how Mary models a different way of managing our humanness, so that we can better reflect the Divine spark that resides in all of us.
At the Wedding of Cana, Mary and Jesus appear to have a bit of conflict. She reports to him that there is no wine, and he (basically) responds that it's not his problem. Instead of getting bent out of shape or pouting, she persists. She goes to the wine stewards and tells them to do whatever Jesus tells them to do. Now, we all know how the story goes...water into wine, happy wedding feast, Jesus' first natural miracle, boom. But this isn't the first time they have a bit of conflict according to the Gospels, and I'm willing to bet, as parent and child, there were other non-recorded incidents. What about when she panics when he's missing at about age 12 and he responds (again, paraphrasing) "you should know where I'm at" because he's been hanging out in the Temple teaching? Or when she's worried about him and it's reported to Jesus that his mother and brothers were outside the house worrying, and he responds that those surrounding him are his family? We don't see a Mary who pounds her fists on the table, walks out and slams the door behind her (although, she'd be totally within her right to do so). We don't encounter a Mary who screams (although I imagine she might have screamed a bit). Instead, we have a woman who stands firm. She doesn't walk away, but rather follows Jesus all the way to the cross.
I call this firmness, this steadfastness, "standing in the fire" with people. Having just a little bit of awareness of non-violent communication strategies and my own experiences of facing conflict and hard conversations, "standing in the fire" for me means staying engaged in those moments of tension, when it's easier to walk away. Mary stood in the fire with Jesus all throughout his ministry. And we are called, I believe, to stand in the fire with each other. Think about how many times you've found yourself in conflict with another, whether that's in the church, in your circle of friends, at work, with your spouse/partner or children. Sometimes our impatience with the other to see things from our perspective (because of course we're right), our inability to hear their truth/needs/wants/desires (because they aren't as important as our own) , and our fear of being vulnerable (and therefore lashing out at the other) prevents us from being the Beloved Community. But when we stand in the fire and listen deeply...when we put aside our own agenda so that we can hear the needs of the other...when we allow their pain to be witnessed instead of allowing it to affect our delicate egos...transformation happens. Standing in the fire isn't about being a pushover or a doormat, rather it's about staying in it through the end to emerge as something new.
When Jesus said "who are my mother and brothers" Mary could have said "that's it. He's on his own" and that would have been ok. But how much better that instead, she stayed in the fire with him during his ministry. At the foot of the cross, she became the Mother to us all as a gift from Jesus in his most vulnerable moment. She stayed in the fire with him. She didn't leave him when everyone else did. Can we stand in the fire with each other? Can we be vulnerable enough to set aside our agendas and egos and listen deeply to the needs and wants of those we love, and then find a way forward as Beloved? Can we stay in it until the very end?
I honestly believe this might be the only way to heal the system. Standing in the fire might be the way to heal the brokenness of the church. But it means letting go of the ways "we've always done it" so that something new can emerge. And that, my fellow travelers, is hard work. Will you stand in the fire with me?