It is my preference to use real bread for Eucharist instead of a wafer. It's not a ditch I'm going to die in (as Louis Weil would say), but it's my preference. I like real bread for a lot of reasons...the texture, the messiness of the crumbs, the fact that it somehow calls me back to a time when bread was the basis of a meal that Jesus would have shared with friends. Yes, it helps me to imagine.
And when I read the story of the Feeding of the Five-Thousand, I think about the bread. Five loaves and two fishes. That's all they had. And yet, they all ate and were filled...and there were even left-overs. Now lots has been written about this miracle; explaining it away through logic and metaphor. Some say the people saw what Jesus and the disciples were doing, and decided to share their little meals and that's how all the people got fed. Some say it's a metaphor for God's grace...that God uses what we have and turns it into abundance. All of that is wonderful and fine! I don't dispute any of it. But I keep feeling like there's more.
Jesus went up on that mountain to pray because he had just learned of the death of John the Baptist...his cousin and his peer. And the people followed him. Were they wanting to console him? Were they following him so they could be healed? Whatever the reason, Jesus was so moved with compassion that he healed their sick and fed them. He didn't turn them away. He didn't take the advice of the disciples and send them back to town to feed themselves. He healed them and fed them. Here's the mystery of being blessed. When we are blessed, we become a blessing to others. And the cycle continues. Jesus was blessed, and even in his sorrow, he blessed others. Or maybe the crowds were feeling blessed, and went to be a blessing (and comfort) to Jesus. However you understand it, the message of blessing comes through.
So why do people go to church? I think it's because we're hungry. And sometimes we don't know it, or can't name it. We're an intellectual group, where we want to explain away our needs, but in our hearts, we know our hungers. The gospel of Matthew tells us that men, women and children were present at the feeding miracle. What that tells me is that Jesus feeds out of a love that is abundant, inclusive and welcoming. It isn't a love that judges our worthiness or faithfulness or neediness. It is a love that blesses us regardless of who we are. And when we are fed, Jesus is inviting us to participate in the creative building up of the Kingdom of God. Why do you think there were leftovers? So we could continue to share the blessing, the good news, and the love.
When we come to Eucharist, we come not to be fed with an "all you can eat" buffet. We come to a simple meal--bread and wine--that helps us to remember the "why". We come because we are hungry for the love and peace of God. We come because we are hungry for the healing of God. We come so that we can feed others.