Well friends, we made it to Easter. I have been slow to write, even though much has consumed my thoughts lately.
Jesus went in the tomb, and now he's experienced resurrection. So how is it that I find myself still on Good Friday, having my own dark night of the soul? Why aren't I ringing bells and donning my best Easter bonnet (as if that would ever happen)?The bishop, in his Easter Vigil sermon, referenced the movie Shawshank Redemption "you better get busy living or get busy dying" and it made me wonder...am I living or am I dying?
These 40 days of Lent, this Holy Week, and even tonight on the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus, and our own resurrection lives, I have not only traveled with Jesus, but I have been traveling with Our Sorrowful Mother, Mary Magdalene and our sister Mary from Bethany. These three Mary's have been my constant companions.
Our Sorrowful Mother has been "pondering all these things in her heart" about the ministry, life and teachings of Jesus. I have too. In this year of liberation that I proclaimed for myself back in January, I have been pondering my calling by God. I have wondered with anticipation what it is that I am called to do in, with and for the church. I have pondered my own forsaken-ness, my own brokenness, and the ways in which I experience the love of God. I wonder, almost daily, if the one who was chosen to bear the Light of the World ever felt broken, incompetent and incapable of the life she had been called to.
Mary Magdalene, the woman possessed who was liberated and became one of the beloved who journeyed with Jesus. Mary Magdalene who was shamed by the church for centuries, but has become a symbol of female ministry and empowerment in the church by several of my sisters...I admire her witness and faithfulness. And yet, I feel like I'm still wrestling with my demons; when will this demon of grief and scorn leave me?
Mary of Bethany. You sat at His feet. You watched him weep at the tomb of your brother. You welcomed him on his journey to Jerusalem. You seem so kind, so patient, so curious. I want to be more like you instead of angry, impatient and judgmental.
Jesus went in the tomb, and now he's experienced resurrection. So how is it that I find myself still on Good Friday, having my own dark night of the soul? Why aren't I ringing bells and donning my best Easter bonnet (as if that would ever happen)?The bishop, in his Easter Vigil sermon, referenced the movie Shawshank Redemption "you better get busy living or get busy dying" and it made me wonder...am I living or am I dying?
These 40 days of Lent, this Holy Week, and even tonight on the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus, and our own resurrection lives, I have not only traveled with Jesus, but I have been traveling with Our Sorrowful Mother, Mary Magdalene and our sister Mary from Bethany. These three Mary's have been my constant companions.
Our Sorrowful Mother has been "pondering all these things in her heart" about the ministry, life and teachings of Jesus. I have too. In this year of liberation that I proclaimed for myself back in January, I have been pondering my calling by God. I have wondered with anticipation what it is that I am called to do in, with and for the church. I have pondered my own forsaken-ness, my own brokenness, and the ways in which I experience the love of God. I wonder, almost daily, if the one who was chosen to bear the Light of the World ever felt broken, incompetent and incapable of the life she had been called to.
Mary Magdalene, the woman possessed who was liberated and became one of the beloved who journeyed with Jesus. Mary Magdalene who was shamed by the church for centuries, but has become a symbol of female ministry and empowerment in the church by several of my sisters...I admire her witness and faithfulness. And yet, I feel like I'm still wrestling with my demons; when will this demon of grief and scorn leave me?
Mary of Bethany. You sat at His feet. You watched him weep at the tomb of your brother. You welcomed him on his journey to Jerusalem. You seem so kind, so patient, so curious. I want to be more like you instead of angry, impatient and judgmental.